This article lay out what maybe the most useful practice in this time when there are so many judgment and also so many irrelevant “fancy” discussions. Understanding this article means you will be able to discern what is happening around you and have more acute vision of what it can be instead of regretfully missing what it had been. Going in to the practice, I’ll lay the fundamentals as usual.. It maybe REALLY hard to practice for some people and it might be as well as a lifetime quest.. but the practice has always lead to the exponential progress. So..? Ready. Set. Go.
Most of us are supercharged for success. We are rarely prepared for failures or losing something that is meaningful to us..or.. experiencing what is never happened before. A simple understanding of this condition brings us from glorious-happy-go-lucky to sudden realization THAT the reality is we are vulnerable. Vulnerability is a state where there are so many closed doors and there is no chance you will open it by yourself. Have you experienced vulnerability..?
My own experience of vulnerability unfolded slowly (painfully) when I was in Junior High School. I played basketball and landed the wrong way, sprained my ankle..then some tendon somehow passed that kinetic energy up and tore a bit of my upper thigh muscle (rectus femoris). Weeks after, my right foot is crazy swollen and then it is infected as well..apparently my body is not fast and strong enough to counter the infection. According to the experts, the worse case is that the infection will infect the bones and if that happened I can just amputee my leg. LOL Indonesia’s doctor.. Consequently, we succumbed to panic and all.. especially my mom…. but nothing of it has happened. I’m still in pain and we can do something about it even if we don’t know what. That belief is what matters. Short story I survived as my knee cap skin give ways to the fountain of blood (and pus) and I was ran into ER.. the cleaning takes 20 minutes without any painkiller… and glad-fully the rest of the pus was just recycled by my body itself. I gave a high-five to my immuno-cells (thank you!) and my mom. Also, I’m sorry mom.
This is what the practice of the first law of attention is about, we know that nothing is ever matter. What always matter though, is what we are (as observed) and what we do next. There is no drama, only facts and evidence.
We can say that human is their behavior. We are born equal or not equal, this fact doesn’t matter much. The twins who were born from the same family will be different according to what they do in their life. The right question to ask is “what have you done in life that is your own choice..?” Behavior is what we do.
The right follow-up from an active observer will be then.. “why do we need to do things in the first place..?”
What perspective are you in your everyday’s game..?
Jack Canfield may cut it easy in his famous line…
ERO (Event + response = Outcome).
It is correct..until it is not.
The question then… How come it is not correct..?
It is not correct when you are the event that is affecting the state. You are the active observer who direct the orchestra of events. You are the source.
Vulnerability is a state. It is not an event. The same with Happiness, it is a state. Apparently understanding which state we are in is more important than what had/may happen.
It may be simpler to see it as…
State + Action = Event
See the difference..?
- ERO – You (victim of event) + what you (can do) of it = What you are!
- SAE – You (conscience of where/what you are) + what you do (includes how you want to do!) of it = Event!
The Heart of Champion
Event, movement, progress. Lately I have been observing more and more people who has the capability but often they don’t know what meaningful destination they wanna go. These people are so competent, filled with knowledge, but I can instantly discern that they are not serious. They are so excel in stagnancy, they abuse the system, they play the victim of their bosses, or their peers, yeah, I will laugh at that. Hey, sometimes I’m not immune either but I try not to be in it most of the time with my Clockwork of Excellence. Many of these people have the mindset -the guidance of how to do the right things- but they are missing the perspective. It is really hard for them to see the bigger picture which lead to the vision as they don’t understand the current state and what it takes to overcome the delusion they are in. Let us visit the vulnerability example above. When we heard an expert’s comment and what possible scenarios are, we panicked. We are absorbed into the delusion of I having my leg amputated and what the physical/psychological implication..forgetting that we are not there!
In many ways, practicing SAE may feel similar with ERO, of course, because the full circle will be SAERO. You may think I am joking, but realizing this means a lot of things you will do instead of things you are being done.
The mentality of a victim VS the mentality of champion.
Are you going to fight (against yourself) and win like champions..?
Are you gonna be the solution, or are you gonna be the problem..?
Here is the funny thing..most of the time in a working system, solution and the problem is the same.
Deeper discussion on SA|E|RO will bring us to what traction we have instead of motivation. [Check out traction here]
Here is a frequent example in business organization. What a manager can not fix (maybe because not good time management, already broken process, or maybe simple incompetence), when you volunteer to fix it, you’re part of the solution.. but if you do it again and again, then you are the cause of the problem as the manager won’t fix it and he/she will just create a position (for you) and you can guess what will happen next (can be good/bad depending on which perspective). One might even say that there are so many fake jobs in the society we are living now. This is also why I always stressed the importance of studying for pure knowledge, not because of motivated to a cause. Sadly there are too many people study because they are asked, or because they want to have a scheme behind other people’s back, or simply because they want to have a job. It’s not worth it. The pursuit of knowledge is much bigger practice than that.
Going back to the topic at hand, to practice SAERO more on the SAE side will need considerable composure. This composure and facing up front means the ability to cope with the vulnerabilities within ourselves. In this practice, the ability to identify a potential problem is more valuable to the ability to fix a problem. The question we will answer this time is…
Letting it Be or Letting it Go?
Many people asked me what is the difference between the two.. well they have a legit question..and I’m glad I have a legit and simple answer on this. Before we go on though, let’s review.
First we understand about vulnerability. Then we know that vulnerability is a state, not an event. State/Event is simply a perspective determined by your mentality of a victim or a champion. Being what you are, then you may then take the next step. You pay attention, you don’t assume but you judge it, you make a reference from the security you are. Only then you have the autonomy to decide. This is important as without autonomy you can’t afford to make the decision and will have the decision made for you.
Let it Go
Understanding the framework of SA|E|RO makes this easy. Let it Go is one of the various response in the ERO side. An event that most often is a limiter for you to move forward/face it forward, you will then let go of the state.
The easiest example I can give is about your ex-GF/BF. Once you’ve let go the feeling of misery and the agony of your breakup, you can move on and be your better self. You let go of the fact that she is your girlfriend. You are now in the state of being single.
See the beauty here..?
- State: You and her are together (but you are not conscious about it and take it as granted).
- Event: Break Up.
- Response: In time you let go of the state that you were together (Response).
- Outcome: You are single.
- After while -Outcome will be State- : You embraced the state of being Single.
You may notice from point 5 that an outcome will become a state after a set of time. Do you know that time is a framework, created by man just to make it easier in keeping track of the movement of 3D “real” stuff…? Next time I will write about how we can all be the master of our time.
For now let’s come back to what we are discussing, Let it Be or Let it Go..?
Let it Be
With similar approach from the SA|E|RO framework, Let it Be is taking action by no action. Rings a bell..? Yes, that is Lao Tzu’s.
The softest things in the world overcome the hardest things in the world. Through this I know the advantage of taking no action. – Lao Tzu
One of the best practice of let it be is seen in meditation. You rarely sit with good posture in the beginning, when you are meditating some part of your body will have pain (at first). You recognize the pain. Because meditation is about concentration, you don’t concentrate to the pain instead you concentrate to your breathing. You feel the pain is subduing…you make friends with it.
Though, there are various reason for this scientifically… this is a good example for Letting it Be.. and what mindfulness is.
Let’s break it down:
- State: You are in a Meditation.
- Event/State?: Your foot is hurting.
- Action (no action): You reckon “It’s hurt… or is it..? Whatever, I’m at 70 of 100 now, it’s too late to change posture..”
- You are reaching 100 count.. and you don’t feel it hurting anymore.
- Event: But when you move it you started to feel the “fizzz” as your blood started pouring into your capillaries again. LOL
In this meditation example, the clarity of action is clear (that it has no action) regarding the hurting of your foot. The important thing to note here is that you fully have autonomy to recognize the development of “my foot hurt” and choose to not do anything about it. I hope the example can discern “let It be” to “let it go”. Confused..? Excited..? You should.
To make it easier I tried to put this in a picture.. I hope that will explain it further.
Letting it be in most cases can be dangerous as it is an action with zero addition to risk. The consequences of no action is just the initial condition (no added consequences). This action with zero risk is dangerous because psychologically we may not able to discern if it is an event or it is a state. This is the psychology playing with our biological instinct of adaptation. Too much adaptation will be assigned “normal” and you will be pushed and pressured because you will have greater tolerance into it. The cool thing, an active observer will understand that they are responsible and they have the ownership of daring to take no action towards the state they are in. They looked at all they had made, and they saw it was very good!
Both Letting-it-go & letting-it-be is two distinct and powerful concept to integrate into our lives. The integration of SA|E|RO in full circle means to be fully conscious of where/what you are…and to practice this in daily basis is psychologically challenging, but also grants the most vibrant form of autonomy.. and of course a life fulfillment. The completion of SA|E|RO means we need to finish what we started, and that is also a practice of discipline. That also means to face it all in aggressive manner, game face on, no double standard.
SA|E|RO is NOT BEING PROACTIVE. Active observers don’t only aim to change the status quo but they want to improve it. Proactive is a great 8th Habit (Stephen Covey) but taking it literally (most people do) means developing more trouble. Active observer will only disrupt the system when they identify a potential problem (usually done by those who are PROactive).
The best example of a job that has full circle of SA|E|RO is the life of a stock trader. We all know that we can’t turn back time, a trader is forced to suck up his better or his lesser self every time, sometimes be grateful of what losses he is, and get ready on the hunt for the next big opportunity. The constant psychological challenges is attributed to this framework with an almost immediate feedback. The feedback loop is so short, even the best technical analyst may made the wrong judgement of State to Event.
For some who understands how it goes, it’s actually very simple. If you are still confused, I suggest you supercharge your heart of champion by understanding what an active observer is, what is traction, what foolproof strategy to use in each situation, and things will fall in place. All of those are written in this website, just browse around.
PS: This article is quite detail in my opinion but because it is so simple people often don’t understand. The fact that our language is limited clearly shows in this discussion of the term. We as a species are getting much more spiritual knowledge these days, terms like “mindfulness”, “limiting belief”, etc.. Those are not some “fancy” wordings but it is the manifesto of our insufficient language as means of communicating what our biology understands and what our psychology ultimately seeking. This is the next frontier I am excited to see more of it, and I am happy if you are with me! Life is easy, and I mean it. 1+1=2